Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Wardrobe malfunction

Today has been one of those days I probably should have not bothered to get up. I’ve been migrainey the past few days, which usually tends to mean my brain doesn’t work properly (like it ever does). I had my bike ride after work yesterday (as opposed to my usual before, b/c I didn’t get my butt out of bed), and found myself on a street, just for an instant, completely unsure of where I was. Very odd. I’d worry, except that seems to go along with my migraines, and then it passed. Anyway, I woke up, quite suddenly, at 5 this morning, and was all the way in the bathroom, with the lights on, starting to get ready for work, when it twigged that, hmm, maybe I don’t need to be up until 650. So, I went back to bed, and woke up feeling crappier than I had at 5. Figures. Got out of the house late and went for a bike ride – generally nice and uneventful. Apparently, I got to the shower just after Mr. Fat and Ugly, since the entire changing area was completely soaked. That, by the way, should be another capital crime. Maybe I should start a list. I manage to keep my clothes dry, and then discover, to my horror, that the zipper to my pants has broken, and is gaping wide open (I’ve had the pants for 3 years and have hated them the whole time). After a few minutes of increasingly frantic small-scale zipper surgery, I succeed in zipping the stupid pants. The problem is, each time I use the toilet, I have to keep the pants from unzipping completely, which is no mean feat. Of course, I chose today to have asparagus with my lunch, and of course I manage to dribble on myself quite severely (trying to hold zipper with one hand, underwear with the other, and, well, you know…). Gack! I’m covered with stinky pee in the company men’s room! I manage to dry the spots enough to get back to my desk and make some lame excuse about how the zipper finally gave and I have to change into my bike clothes. Pants go in the kitchen trash.

As they say – just try not to trip, fall, pee your pants or make the fire alarm go off and you will be fine.

Oh dear then – I will try to avoid drooling when I head to the gym.

1 comment:

Mike said...

Happens with scrub pants frequently -- quick visit to men's room between cases in the OR, and oh, no, there's a strategic wet spot in front. Sometimes people change pants (lots of fresh clean ones available). Sometimes they just splash water all over as if they'd been really careless while washing hands, disguising the "real" wet spots. Sid Schwab even mentions this in his surgical autobiography, "Cutting Remarks."