Yarfy Monday morning...

Ugh – evil migrainey Monday morning. The lights are too bright, the computer keyboards are too noisy, the phones are like jackhammers into my poor little delicate ears. I want everyone to die. Yep – fabulous morning. On my morning cycle, about 3.5 miles out, I start to think, ‘Hmm – my lock seems to be very comfortable around my waist this morning. Perhaps it is because I left it on the floor at home.’ So back home I had to go – really, I just wanted to experience the wonder and joy of the commute twice. Still, I did get to cut off this dickhead on a bike who thought he was going to sneak past me. But then he took a shortcut and I got caught in traffic. I hope he gets hemorrhoids and can’t sit on his seat.

I spent £120 getting my bike all prettied and tuned up on Thursday. So, what do I do on my way home? I run over a screw. A nice, pointy, 1.5 inch wood screw that screws happily through my nice, nearly new, puncture resistant rear tire. Great. This meant that I had the immense pleasure of walking the 2 miles home through Walworth, which is a bit like walking home through East Harlem, only less interesting. The funny thing is, when I’ve told people here that I got a flat tire running over a screw, because of the difference in accent, a number of people have thought I said I’d gotten a flat running over a squirrel. They were quite curious how a squirrel caused a flat tire (did it bite the tire?) – and most felt quite bad for the squirrel.

Anyway, I had a rather uneventful weekend. Lots of socializing and hanging out, no cycling (as I had to get a new tire, and then it rained). I did, however, get to see the new Star Trek movie on Friday night out at the O2 with David, Robin, Adrian and Michal. Movie was fab – I sat there rapt through the whole thing, and only remembered to share my big bucket of popcorn a few time. Saturday night I hung out with James, who subjected me to 2009 Eurovision, in its entirety. Rather scarily, I loved it – even the bad acts. Maybe I’m gay? Hmm.

Oh, and quite randomly, I’ve come up with a new capital crime – turning without signalling. The number of numbnuts who have nearly run me over at intersections… And it seems like there has been a rash of trucks crushing cyclists at traffic lights – usually when turning without signalling. I think this particular offense merits instant and painful death, unless there is some other overriding factor like, oh, I don’t know, elephantitis or fatal herpes. I think that’s quite lenient… Evil motorists beware once Doug becomes queen of the world…