Friday, 26 March 2010

Flying tits

So, the neighbours have tits under their eves. It’s true! Last year, we had tits in our ventilation shaft, and came home one day to find a young tit fluttering about the bedroom, pooping on everything.

What did you think I was talking about?

Sheeesh!

We’ve definitely gone into spring-mode. The daffodils are daffodildoing (what?), the cherry trees have started to bud (ooh, I’m having a good time with this) and my eyes are watering.

It is entirely possible I need to get out more.

The big drama today at work is that we have no water. Apparently a main burst somewhere around here (they do that a lot), and we have enacted ‘business continuity planning’, whatever the hell that is. I mean really – this is the country that supposedly survived the blitz, and a little water main blows up and all hell breaks loose. Not very impressive.

Ooh, speaking of not very impressive, I just noticed the other day that work (which is trying to save umpteen bazillion pounds in the next few years) has decided to replace their chauffeured Lexus (used for driving around the Speaker) with a chauffeured Mercedes E250, which retails for about £33,000. I’m sure that is money well spent.

Ooh, people are having great fun here trying to figure out why Americans are having a cow about the whole health care thing. From what I’ve read, it seems like pretty small potatoes (and will probably just make the health insurance companies richer). I will never ever be convinced that socialized medicine isn’t a good thing – God knows I’ve made fair use of the NHS!

Anyway, I should probably look busy again… The weekend is coming up (planning a long bike ride tomorrow)… What shall I do? Maybe something really exciting like buy a bag of chicken shit to put in the planters upstairs to get them to grow… It’s just one wild and crazy thing after another…

5 comments:

Katherine Plumer said...

Ah, but are they Great Tits?

I could send you some chicken poo, but it might not make it through customs.

dougzilla said...

They might be blue tits. As you know, I'm not a huge expert on tits.

Katherine Plumer said...

Yes, I can imagine. Probably not much of an expert on Boobies either. Uh, the birds, I mean. ;-)

dougzilla said...

Speaking of which, have you ever eaten spotted dick or Swedish faggots? Look them up! :-)

Katherine Plumer said...

Somebody ordered spotted dick at the pub when we visited you there, I think. I think it was Robin. Very silly name.